How can you stay connected with your teen as a family?
As your teen is seeking independence and a choice to make his own decisions, they often tend to spend more time outside the home. They build relationships with friends and other people, which in turn makes them less connected with their family. Sometimes there even could be a conflict of opinions, due to change in mind-sets that leads to disconnection. But this is all-natural and proven, you can be connected to your teen about every slightest issue.
Remember, despite everything your child needs a stronger relationship with you to face the challenges of the outside world. And to keep the bond going, you need a frequent casual pep talk. Here’s all you could do to stay connected with your child because being connected does not only mean sharing the same roof but also having the knowledge of another person’s life and being close.
Never miss on the Casual Talk:
No matter how busy you and your kid may have been the entire day, make it a must to have a normal talk with him about his day and then share about the stuff you did. Doing so will not make it difficult for him to talk to you when there might be something serious upon his head. He’ll feel comfortable, plus you would know about the random details like the new friends he made, where does he hangs out more these days and so on. The child would not have to fill you with these if the issue is related to it. Always remember to show interest and focus on what they are saying for a few minutes to let them know it is important to you. Keep it more of a conversation of your child so that he feels comfortable. Do not keep your responses judgemental.
Planned Hours: Now casual talks give you the information they want you to know, but planned hours help you connect with them and know more. It allows you to know their feelings and views. Go for brunch on a weekend or a movie date on a Friday, a simple game day or video game hours. Maybe bake a cake together for some special occasion and do a little talking. If you ever happen to be late, just let your child know that you are going to turn up and it is your priority. Leave a note or a simple text saying, “Would be late for the next 20 minutes but hang in there.”
Welcome their friends: Having relations or try to know his friends is a great way to know your child. It will also let your child know, that you accept his company and his choices. Friends are a part of their life and at this age, friends are important to a teenager. Ask him to bring his friends over to watch the match together. Let them do a mess. Your kid will love to show his friends how cool his mom and dad are.
Keep advice to a minimum: Every time your kid shares something with you, they aren’t searching for advice or comment on that particular thing. They want you to be a listener and understand them. Too much advice may make him feel that you do not consider him to make the right decision or handle the matter on his own. However, when you do the listening, it makes them feel free to talk to you about everything and not having to worry about what you think or might say
More appreciations and less complains: Now a lot of parents complain or speak about the things their child has messed up. You do this so frequently that you never appreciate or the complains make the appraisals be overlooked by your child. Never shout or be rude to your child. If he just broke the side lamp, you do not have to yell at him and term him “Careless” or “Irresponsible”. All you could try is to ask your child or say, “I need to talk to you about the side table.”
Never concentrate on his failed attempts. Instead, focus and show your happiness for the attempts he/she has made. And every time you appreciate, it lets them know that you have recognized the things they’ve done. It helps bond better.
It’s not difficult to stay close to your growing child. Dealing with patience and respect is the key. Always have time for them regardless of everything else. They will need you more than any other human. So breathe.
1. Communication is the key.
2. Show acceptance of their friends, decisions, and choices.
3. More appreciation and less complains & Keep advice to the minimum.
4. Be available to listen and have planned outings with your child